Akatsuki Turn Into Kittens Again
by The Handsome Twin
Summary: A parody on the common 'Akatsuki get turned into kittens and sent to our world' plot. Really, what are the chances? Starring unimportant!OCs, illogical!Akatsuki, and blatant self-inserts.


_**Hey everyone! I am writing another parody. Yes, pick your jaws off the floor. I know you're surprised. **_

_**Though you're probably not.**_

_**Completely unfunny jokes aside, enjoy!**_

_********__Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto._

**OooOooO**

It was a beautiful day in... uh... New York! Yes, it was New York. Let's see how our Mary Su- our protagonist, Zoe, is doing.

"Oh no, I'll be late to work! Wait, am I not supposed to be underage?"

Shut up and read the script.

"Jeez, okay. Hey, look, what is that? It's a box with nine kittens in it! I can't leave them here, because I am a kind soul. I must adopt them."

As Zoe took the box and flew away, let's describe how each of these kittens looked.

Like you haven't already got that part memorised.

Okay, let's see... The first kitten was black, with red, demonic eyes. The second was blue and had gills. Totally normal and not suspicious at all. The third had stitches, was carrying money, and was wearing a mask that covered the lower half of his face. The fourth one was half black, half white, had green hair, and yellow eyes. The fifth had silver fur, was waving around a scythe, had a jashinist pendant and was cursing. In kitten speech, of course. There was also an orange kitten, a blue kitten, a red kitten, and a blond kitten. Because I'm lazy, that's why.

Makes you wonder how Zoe didn't immediately recognise them.

She finally reached her house, which she shared with her cousins, Jessie and Claire. They were all 17 years old.

Their parents are _really _irresponsible.

"Here's Zoe!" Zoe bashed her head through the door, with a maniacal grin on her face.

The room was empty, except for two girls standing in the middle with blank faces.

"Why are you so creepy?" asked Zoe, confused. The destroyed door was already replaced. How? _Magic._

"We weren't given any character development. If you want to, you can imagine us as the female versions of Sasori and Hidan." They answered in unison.

"Okay..." Zoe then showed them the box. "Hey, I found cats!"

"I worship Jashin." randomly said Claire.

"I like art." announced Jessie.

"I love Itachi!" declared Zoe.

"_OMFG, guys, they know things!"_ meowed Kisame.

"_I can't believe it!"_

"_Oh my Jashin!"_

"_Impossible!"_

"Why are the cats screaming?" asked Zoe. Everyone ignored her.

"We should name them." suggested Jessie.

"Right. Kisame, Itachi, Sasori, Deidara, Zetsu, Pein, Konan, Kakuzu, Hidan."

"_OMFG, guys, they know things!"_

"_I can't believe it!"_

"_Oh my Jashin!"_

"_Impossible!"_

This is going to be a long day.

**OooOooO**

And now the part you were all waiting for... The three pages long description of how the original characters look! Yes, I'm excited as well.

Zoe had long flowing black hair and red eyes. She was the most beautiful creature to walk this earth. See, is that a Mary Sue?

Claire's hair was silver. She had a jashinist pendant hanging on her neck.

She was also immortal.

Not important.

Jessie had red hair, and liked puppets.

No, they don't resemble the Akatsuki members that they will be paired with. Trust me.

That's pretty much all that you need to know about the last two. Who cares, they're practically furniture.

**OooOooO**

Claire and Jessie were sitting on a couch, their unseeing eyes staring at a black TV screen. Suddenly, Zoe burst into the room.

"Hello, Zoe." the two side characters greeted her simultaneously.

"Hey, people whose names I don't remember! Do you like Naruto?"

"Yes, I do! My favorite character is Hidan." replied Claire enthusiastically.

"No, Sasori is way cooler." argued Jessie.

"'Kay, bye!" cheerfully said Zoe.

"Why did you even ask?" inquired Claire.

"Anybody wants water?" Zoe changed the subject.

"Sure. What could go wrong?"

Zoe ran to the kitchen to fill a bucket with water. As she was carrying it, however, she accidentally splashed half of it on the kittens.

"Oh no." intoned Claire and Jessie.

As the water touched the cats, they morphed into humans. Professor McGonagall, anyone?

"Oh my god! I know you! You're the Akatsuki, aren't you?"

"Yup." answered Pein.

"Now, we are going to kill you all, because we can't have any witnesses." Kisame informed them.

"You are? I'm too beautiful to die!" screamed Zoe distressedly.

"Actually, we're not. We need you alive because... um... we don't know anything about this world, and you are going to somehow help us. It's not like we can read a book or something."

"That seems illogical."

"Who cares? Everyone is here for the romance, or, in some cases, M-rated scenes."

**OooOooO**

_Three months later_

The past three months were filled with adventure, humor, drama, and romance. Our heroes overcame great difficulties, faced personal tragedies, and found true love.

But, of course, you won't hear about _any_ of that.

The whole gang was watching TV, when a portal appeared in the room.

"That's the portal to our dimension." Pein told everyone.

"How do you know?" asked Zoe.

"A wizard told me."

"Don't go, Hidan-kun!" wailed Claire, using a japanese suffix, for some reason.

"Please don't leave me, Sasori-chan!" Okay, this is getting ridiculous.

"No, we must go. Our planet needs us!"

"We will go with you!" decided Zoe. Claire and Jessie couldn't have cared less.

"So, you are just going to abandon your families, friends, and everything that is precious to you, and just go to our world?" Sasori questioned.

"Yes." Zoe clarified.

"Yup." Claire agreed.

"Exactly." Jessie nodded.

"You are very responsible. I can see why your parents trusted you enough to leave you alone in a house."

And so they all went back to the Naruto-verse together.

The girls were brutally murdered an hour later by a group of rogue shinobi.

What did you expect? The Naruto world is extremely dangerous, even the civilians are trained to kill. A person from our world wouldn't survive there for a _week_.

**OooOooO**

**-OMAKE-**

**What if the Akatsuki members were in character?**

As the kittens turned into humans, Pein stuck a kunai through Zoe's chest. Nearby, Claire and Jessie were quickly slaughtered by Kisame and Hidan.

"Good work, everyone. We obviously can't let people, who know that we were here, live. They might have panicked and called the police on us. It would mean trouble for us." Pein complimented them.

"We should find a way to get back. It shouldn't be too hard. We already have space-time jutsu, and we are geniuses, too. A month or too, at most." Kakuzu suggested.

"Those people know too much about us. We should drop destroy this planet. I mean, we have powerful jutsu, they wouldn't even have time to react. A few fire techniques, and it's all over." Itachi mused.

"Yes, that is sensible." Pein agreed.

**OooOooO**

**So, how was it? Feel free to point out any mistakes I made. Really, these parodies are just here to improve my writing, and possibly make you laugh. Personally, I can't laugh at my own jokes. To me, they're not funny at all.**

**But I know that I'm hilarious.**

**So, ignoring my egoistic tendencies, don't forget to review!**


End file.
